Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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