What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What starts with P and ends with orn? Porn

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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What Do You Call Black People Skydiving? A fun time.

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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I'll be back. Please use the door.

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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