What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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Women's rights

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Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Give me thumbs up!

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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