Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

hahaha

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

British Dentistry

Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

Poop

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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