What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

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Justin Bieber hits puberty

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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