Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a chinese man all walk in to a magic shop, at different times in the day to buy different products.

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why did the man drop his ice-cream cone? He had no fingers, he lost them in Vietnam while he was protecting our country

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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