Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Justin Bieber

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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