Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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MAKE

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Grammer is very important

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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