Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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