why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the girl fell off the hammock? because she didn't have arms and why didn't she got up? 'cause she had no legs and why didn't anyone helped her? 'cause she had no friends and why did she die? 'cause she fell into a puddle facing down

thumb_up thumb_down +18

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

conrad profit

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops