Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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knock knock

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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