whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats long and black? The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops