Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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