Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I have read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

thumb_up thumb_down

Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was 6 affraid of 7? because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

thumb_up thumb_down +13

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops