Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

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Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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what are three short words? i a am

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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