what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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a ginger has a soul

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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