You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops