Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +248

Anything Dane Cook says

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I enjoy owboy butt sex with big black men please call me at 9528579236

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Get on your knees Ho

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "On your face"

thumb_up thumb_down -786

Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jerry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Once, I went to Peru.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops