An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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