A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The adventures of Helen Keller:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +41

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

the power to turn magnetism into light

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops