How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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