A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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here kitty kitty

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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There's my tractor.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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