You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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How about that airline food?

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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