What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

What happened to the white man who beat up the black man? He was arrested for assault and battery. What happened to the black man who beat up the white man? He was also arrested for assault and battery. Their races have no superiority to the law.

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

what do you get when you stick a pair of scissors in a four year old? an erection.

A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

Miscarriages.

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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