So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Hi is the longest two letter word in the world

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Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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