Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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why?

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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Oh...okay, good.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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