the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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How many cows say moo? All of them

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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25

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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the WNBA

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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