Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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