Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Dont look at me.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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