Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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im a selling a car

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Womens Rights.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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h

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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