Microwave

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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boobs

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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