Where's my tractor?

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

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whats better than sex? cookies

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What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is very bad looking

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A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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Why doesn't the mexican have a job? Grad school is taking up too much of his time.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

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ok i got one for ya 2 Penn State coaches walk in to a butt....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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