Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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"Up to 50% off."

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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This is my first attempt at making an anti-joke: That's was it.

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Nickelback

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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Penis

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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