A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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what the hell happened to your face

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Whats Obama's last name?

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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penis

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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