How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

thumb_up thumb_down +50

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops