Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Obama

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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