If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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yo mama is fat shes fat

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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destiny

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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