An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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DERP

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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