If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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the battle of waterloo

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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