How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

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If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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Religion.

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Hi

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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