What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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Kathy Griffin.

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jews

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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if a dog eats a hot dog what will happen? (leave a comment to find out)

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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God. God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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