hipsters

What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Once upon a time there was a boy who was 16 and a girl who was 14. The guy is in year 10 and the girls is in year 9 . Alot of people think he is a pedofile. Comment your opinion.

A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

connor sucks

Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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