What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

The bears will win the Super Bowl

A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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