Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

24!

Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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