Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Womens rights

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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