What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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