Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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bryden is a faggot

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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