Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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you are gay

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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