What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops