Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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lybia

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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