why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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knock knock piss off

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There's a car about to hit me.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Darude- Sandstorm

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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