Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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Jesus was a good guy

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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I killed someone today. :D

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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