- Anti Joke

Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

1 + 1 = 3

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

what do you call a monkey? a monkey

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

Women's rights