Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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