What did the peanut say to the jelly

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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try slamming a revolving door

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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You

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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